Trying to Have Patience

My original due date was 7/14/11, an ultrasound showed the baby was a week ahead and estimated the due date was 7/8/11.  My doctor didn't move the date or anything but I started thinking 7/8/11 sounded better than the 14th!  I have never been one to show much patience in anything, I usually want to skip ahead, be there already, etc and then sometimes regret not just enjoying the moment. 

While pregnant I feel I have done a really good job about enjoying the stages and all the surprises that have come with being pregnant for the first time.  However, now that I am in the home stretch and only 2 weeks away I find myself just wishing I will go into labor.  Part of me feels that had I not ever gone into pre-term labor, or dilated to a one, 4 weeks ago, I wouldn't be nearly so impatient.  Now that I am off bed rest and experiencing constant cramping (like menstrual cramps) and back pain, along with contractions that are strong enough to wake me up at night, I am just ready to go into labor and meet my precious daughter.  The anxiety of not knowing when it will happen, the second guessing the contractions, and wondering if that one was real or not is starting to wear on me. 

On the other hand I also know taking care of a newborn is no cake walk either, and I will probably be begging to go back to the misery of being 38 weeks pregnant. 

We have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 9am, we are having an ultrasound done because my doctor feels the baby is big, and possibly wants to set up a date to be induced.  Not that there is anything wrong with being induced but from the beginning I told myself, Hubbs and everyone I wanted to go into labor naturally, I wanted my labor process to be as natural as possible.  BUT now that I am so close, and yet still so far I find myself wanting to set up a date to be induced ASAP, its like dangling a carrot piece of cake in front of me and asking me not to go after it!

I am enjoying this time with peanut in my belly, I know I am going to miss feeling her move everyday, and I know when I have to go back to work its going to be so hard being away from her when she has been such a part of me for the past 9 months. 

I just think going into pre-term labor, made me think this would happen sooner than later, and now that I am not progressing I find myself getting frustrated.  Plus being an OCD planner type, setting up a date to be induced just sounds way to easy!

I am really looking forward to our appointment tomorrow, I cannot wait to see little miss.  I also secretly want to confirm she is still a she!  One can never be too sure!  I am just hoping I can exercise some patience and try to stick this out as long as possible.  Only peanut knows her birthday, I just wish she would stop messing with me every night and making me have contractions for no reason!  Guess the fun is already beginning. :)